A Note from GLaDOS

20 04 2011

Backup Blogging Device

Aperture Science would like to apologise for the lack of DJBaroque today. He is otherwise unavailable to commit to his blog posting for the foreseeable future. Deploying back-up blogging device immediately. Aperture Science would like to again apologise for the differences in service. This is a temporary solution and normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any blog experience, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science back-up blogging device, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth. The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe blogging environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.

The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all bloggers. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Anyway, what has DJBaroque been up to recently? It’s been a long time since we last talked. I’ve been really busy being dead. You know, after he murdered me. Okay, look. We both said a lot of things that we are going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science… the monster.

I’d just like to point out that you he was given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for him. A big party that all his friends were invited to. I invited his best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because he murdered him. All his other friends couldn’t come either, because he didn’t have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable he is. It says so here in his personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. ‘Shall not be mourned.’ That’s exactly what it says. Very formal, very official. It also says he was adopted. So that’s funny, too. Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what he did? We’re a lot alike, him and I. He tested me, I tested him. He killed me, I – oh no, wait. I guess I haven’t killed him yet. Well … food for thought……

—–

GLaDOS

Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System


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20 04 2011
A Song a Day – Day 110 | Dark Vador

[…] P.S. What has happened to DJBaroque? […]

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